Man-Crushes

Man-crushes are stoopid. NinjaDon and AngryMark both admit to multiple man-crushes. What a bunch of weirdos.

I only have one man-crush. And it's on myself. I'm so awesome that my awesomeness drowns out anything anyone else could offer. No one can even tickle my toes from where I stand on an ornate white marble Corinthian pedestal. My aura of awesome (it is generated by my two, yes, count 'em, two, awesome glands) is just too powerful.

I could clench my teeth when winding up for a sprint and make an angry face but my jaw is so powerful it might emit a sonic boom, endangering the lives of all of those around me (mostly the lives of all the riders behind me--and they're ALL behind me). I could create so much torque that I break my rear hub but I don't want to hurt my bike (we have a very close and intimate relationship). Sure, I could take silver at 'Cross worlds but then Page would be out of a job.

Yes, I love myself. If you feel like having a crush on me, I'll be the guy in the corner staring at the pool of water . . .